c4ndyyc - Blog Revival

You told me you wanted to talk over text today because I hadn't responded to a text image you sent this morning. You said it didn't feel good to not get a response. I didn't know that it needed a response. A picture of re-bar on the trailer of a semi. Okay...  Maybe I'm autistic. Maybe you live with me, and conversation in person is something better for me then text. I literally see you almost every evening. Do we need to text during the day? Maybe instead of sitting in front of the tv, you could talk to me instead? Do you text me during the day because you don't talk to me at night? Anyways, I cam home to you having a nap, and then you weren't feeling well? Did you catch my cold? I brought up the text messages, but you didn't talk to me? Did you overreact? Are you to tired? Why can't we connect? I've literally changed my job and work hours in an attempt for more connection. Felt like it was my fault for not being around as much. Maybe it's your ...

It's been 13 years since the last time I blogged. I may be dating myself here a bit, but I miss it. I miss just writing, to be honest. Was I ever a good writer? No. But it was therapeutic, and that is what I miss. Perhaps in my older age my future posts could be more focused, but really I'm doing this for my mental health, and I think journalling was a helpful tool that I want to bring back to my arsenal. These sentences are for no one, but me, but if you've somehow stumbled here, cool.  I have felt anxiety and depression start to creep in again. I say start, but it's always been there. I am fully aware that I do not express these feelings to anyone, and I never really have. Perhaps there are a few people I feel comfortable opening up to, but usually different people I allow to see different angles of my inner most thoughts. I recently had a tarot reading and she told me that out of everyone I surround myself with, there is no one who truly knows me, and all I want is t...